


The Red Queen and her White Knight

by Iblametumblrformyproblems



Category: British Actor RPF
Genre: Cutting, Depression, Dom/Dom, Eventual Smut, F/M, Reader-Insert, Royalty, Spies, Tom is angsty, Tom's Perspective, Triggers, You rule the world, occasionally
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-02
Updated: 2017-07-29
Packaged: 2018-09-03 16:59:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8721634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iblametumblrformyproblems/pseuds/Iblametumblrformyproblems
Summary: In this twist of events, you are the ruler of the world, uniting every country under one name: yours. Rebellion rises up to oppose your rule, giving you the name of the Red Queen, based off an old Children's tale where a queen would behead anyone who she wasn't entirely fond of. Not that they are remotely correct, but many people are beginning to believe you have lost their best interests at heart.In an attempt to save your image, you call on a man well loved by some of the outer territories, Sir Tom Hiddleston, to be your new adviser and friend to the people. What you don't know is that he is already recruited by the rebellion.Together, you must keep this broken world together, but keep yourself together at the same time as lives are lost and war is waged all in the name of power. Who will come out on top?





	1. Plotting Against Good Intentions

Surrounded by the hustle and bustle of the kingdom's every day life, one man crept along, deep in thought. To any outsider, he seemed nothing more than a busy man, intent on his destination, but his mind was on much more sinister plotting. A line of thought he wasn't entirely fond of. 

Tom Hiddleston was a man of integrity. He loved the people he served in his community, protecting them from danger and building their once small village to a place filled with trade and wealth. And no one bothered him about it. He was free to help and keep his little corner of the world from corruption.

Until he was given summons to the castle.

Only the Red Queen was able to turn his life down so completely. She was the most hated woman in all of the earth's history. Just when peace had come and it seemed like humanity could recover from near extinction, a war had to start, dwindling the already sparse population.  There were many men and women willing to go off to war in the name of the Queen and her power, but all Tom saw was corruption. He remembered when the world was different, filled with people and beauty, but also filled to the brim with deceit and a lust for more power. He learned at a very young age that power corrupts. There was no way that anyone who was queen over the whole world would be capable of avoiding that same corruption.

Despite his hatred for the Queen, he had never intended to do anything about it. Fighting back only costs more lives and unless Tom really had proof, he wasn't planning on spending those lives on a whim. 

But things had changed. 

A small grin met his handsome face, fully pushing past the conflict raging inside of him to head towards the castle entrance, his long legs taking him there in seconds. It was time to get off the sidelines. 

 

A loud noise woke you from your reverie, bringing your attention back to the man in rags at your feet. He was pitiful to look at, though you ignored the ache of your heart for him in order to keep impartial. He had apparently dropped your way of helping him, a silver bowl easily worth the price of entire farm.

People seemed to be coming by the droves daily, searching for some answers as their homes and livelihoods were lost in the fires that the rebellion started. Your team would relocate these hurting people away from the battle fronts and give them enough ability to  get their feet under them again. You didn't get on the throne by  indifference and you certainly weren't going to keep it without helping your citizens in their need.

It wasn't glamorous, being Queen. Many believed it was this beautiful and magnificent thing, but you would gladly turn it in if there was anyone without corruption in their hearts or the same safe guards you put in place for yourself. It was for the sake of your people you fought. 

A guard cleared his voice , bowing low before you. You nod in acknowledgment, allowing him to give you his message.

"Your majesty, Sir Hiddleston of the northern territories is here in answer to your summons".

  

Tom walked through the golden door way into the most expensive room he had seen in many years. Once upon a time, he'd been surrounded in wealth and fame, but the world changed, leaving him to find pleasure in simplicity. Seeing some of the unnecessary things once again was disconcerting and sickening to him all at the same time.

The room appeared to have once been a large auditorium of sorts, a place where millions could meet together. All the seating faced a stage that stood above every head. An ache spread through his heart as he remembered what it felt like to be on a stage, entertaining and acting for the pleasure of his audiences. 

On the stage was a throne the size of a love seat, embellished in all sorts of precious metals and brilliant colors. It was cushioned in purple, the frame in brilliant gold, the sides draped in reds and blues. It was created to make whoever on the throne the center of attention at all times. Every chair was lined in gold, the whole room covered in art, in expensive tapestries, but still, the throne was clearly the most expensive center piece he had ever seen and that was saying something.

That wasn't even mentioning the woman sitting there on the throne. She appeared tall and impossibly fierce, capable of facing everything in the world. Her intelligent eyes were studying Tom closely as he took in his surroundings, never displaying any emotion he could read. She was leaning to one side of the throne, allowing her to rest an elbow there, yet her whole body language spoke of a rigidness and authority that even her more relaxed position made her seem threatening, like a panther waiting to pounce.

Her clothing was almost as expensive as the throne itself. Something about the design reminde d him of the portraits of ancient English Queens, skirts billowing away from her in richly colored silks. Long sleeves covered every inch of skin except for a precariously low front, allowing a glimpse of pale breasts. Her hands were decorated sparsely with a ring or two, jewelry kept to a strange minimum. The final piece of the ensemble was the crown sitting on her head. It was enough to hypnotize the average person as it shone with a brilliant light, holding many precious metals, but still seeming much too small to be so brilliant. It was shaped into many leaves and flowers, spiking out in thorns that followed every curve. It was molded perfectly for her head. On the center of the crown was a brilliantly red ruby that originally gave her the name Red Queen. It was shaped like a diamond, sitting perfectly in a mess of silver branches without looking out of place in the ensemble.

She was beautiful, just as the rumors said. But he learned long ago to not trust appearanc es. Even the most beautiful people in the world could have the most corrupt hearts

For the first time in his life, he felt severely under dressed in his simple clothing. But he supposed that was how this throne room was meant to make all visitors feel.

"Welcome, Sir Hiddleston", the Queen's voice rung out, waking Tom from his stupor. 

With a low bow, he finally acknowledged the appropriate way to address her. A few seconds passed as he waited for permission to stand straight once again, his eyes fixating on the particularly clean floors.

"You may rise", she finally said after a moment.

He stood with his most charming smile. "Thank you, your majesty". An awkward silence fell in the room as Tom waited patiently to discover the purpose for his summon. In a bold second, he looked into her eyes, finding her studying him deeply. The gaze was intense as a small smirk played on her lips.

Finally, she filled the silence that had kept him waiting. "Would you enjoy a detour, Sir? I find this room can become a bit of a burden by the end of the day". The way she stood clearly told him he didn't have much of a choice of joining her or not. 

At least 6 guards surrounded the two of them as they began walking through the maze of hallways that made up the castle. Tom was surprised to find that her majesty was actually a bit shorter than she appeared on the throne, yet she still carried something regal that spoke of her authority and position.

After walking for silence for roughly 5 minutes, the entourage arrived in what appeared to be the Queen's personal library. Books piled the room from floor to ceiling, a room almost the size of the throne room itself. His mouth watered at the smell of the musty old books and the knowledge he yearned to gain from them. Most didn't have free access to books in this world, which is probably what he missed most about the old world.

"Guards, you may leave us", the Queen dis missed, leaving the two of you standing alone.

 

You watch him closely, taking in the awe he barely contained at your collection. This was probably your favorite place to meet with people because it always revealed their hearts to you. Sir Hiddleston, for example, was a man who loved knowledge and stories deeply, thus more likely to care for people because of a broader perspective on the world. He would do nicely. 

"I see my library interests you", you observe out loud. Tom turned his head to stare at you, those blue eyes hiding an edge you could see from the moment he walked through the doors of the throne room. But it wasn't time to interrogate this man. You gestured to an open seat across from your personal desk before sitting yourself. "Please sit so we may get down to business".

He walked carefully over to the seat before sitting rather cautiously. It was clear he wasn't wholly comfortable with the situation he found himself in. 

"Your majesty", he began. "I'm not entirely sure why you called me here. Is there a matter you want help on? or perhaps have I done something to anger you?" 

You chuckled softly at his concern. "Please calm yourself. I'm not here to bring about any punishment. Though there may be something I could use your help with". The edge continued to remain, eliminating fear as the cause for it. "As you may have heard", you began again. "I lost my adviser a few months ago. She was kidnapped by enemy forces and we have been unable to locate her. For the mean time, it appears I need a new person I trust both with my life and with the kingdom's future". 

You paused shortly for dramatic affect. "I have searched the whole kingdom for a man or woman that was of high standing in their communities, people of good reputation and undeniable leadership skills, and those well known to hate corruption. Time and time again, I was referred to you as one of the most trust worthy men in what's left of the human race. I'm offering you the chance to help me make decisions that will decide the course for the whole world. You would also be my personal friend and support". You stopped your explanation there and waited patiently for his response, though he appeared rather stunned by the turn of events. 

"You majesty", he began, his voice influenced by  both a confusion and something else you couldn't quite figure out. "How I was referred to you, I have no idea, but I'm no where near qualified, nor am I interested in the corruption that can come with power". You smiled to yourself at his words. He was brave enough to implicate that you had been corrupted by your power in the first conversation he has ever had with you. Sir Hiddleston was a perfect fit

"Are you trying to imply that I have been corrupted by my power?" You ask almost playfully, folding your hands under your chin in a challenge. 

He swallowed slowly as you watched his mind filter and sear ch for the correct answer. "I believe all power corrupts, your majesty", he finally answered carefully. 

"So by default, because I have what some call 'absolute power' I'm therefore absolutely corrupt?"' You continued to push.

He let out a sigh that you were sure he hadn't intended to let escape before jutting his chin out, reaching a point of annoyance. "I don't intend to make any accusations, your majesty. I was simply sharing my beliefs on the subject of power in general". 

"Power is a  very unstoppable force. There is a clear aspect of corruption to it", you concede, watching as confusion flew across his features. "but good intentions actually do matter in this world. The less corruption in a person's heart before they get power, the less corruption throughout their entire rule, especially if that person surrounds themselves with those who are just as less likely to corrupt". Finally, you move your gaze from him to a pile of stacks, remembering all t hose you had to prune from your rule due to their corruption. "That is all I intend to do. I am asking you to join my side so corruption might be pointed out with a fresh pair of eyes. There are many safe guards in my rule to keep good intentions from turning selfish and I would like you to be one of them". 

His eyes were full of conflict and you knew there was no way he could make the decision right then and there. "Perhaps you would like a trial period. For the time being, you could stay in the palace, have free reign in all of the palace affairs and you will receive an open ear from me concerning any matters. If you begin to feel your heart turning from the goodness you are determined to keep, you may leave at any moment". You stood and extended your hand to his. "Are we agreed?"

Without another word, he grasped your hand, sure he was going to regret his decision.

 

The chill of the night air cut straight through the warm clothing Tom was wearing as he hurried to the meeting spot right outside the capitol city. Here there was no listening ears or peeking eyes on the edge of the forest. There stood a man in all black, hidden from anyone who wasn't actively searching for him. 

Tom approached the strange man and grimly informed him, "It is done".

The dim glow of the moon was just enough to catch the yellow grin of the strange man through the depth of his hood. 


	2. The Viper in the Nest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!! So Idk if anyone is actually interested in a story like this, but I've not really been able to get it out of my head for months! I just got bored of the same old fanfiction concerning Tom Hiddleston. There will be smut eventually, but this is like a serious complicated story that should be pretty long. If you want to jump on board, I really hope you will enjoy where I'm going to take this.
> 
> In reference to the cutting and depression mentioned in the tags, it will be dealt with later on, but I'm not planning on touching that for some time and there will be a warning at the beginning of the chapters where we see the characters going through that issue.
> 
> Please feel free to comment and give me as much feed back as possible!!!!!

Light streamed through the window, hitting Tom's eyes rudely. He sat up from his bed with a groan before realizing his surroundings. He was in an elegant guest room in the castle of the Red Queen herself. And he was a spy for the rebel forces. 

He placed his head in his hands as he attempted to make sense of what exactly he was doing. Somehow, the rebels knew that he would be asked to be the new adviser and came to him just a few days before he started his journey to the castle. It didn't take much to convince him, much to his own horror. Tom wasn't a very trusting man, yet the hooded man plucked all the right strings to turn Tom into the perfect informant they wanted him to be.

It would be a lie to say the he wasn't second guessing that decision. He was endangering his whole town if the rumors were true, not to mention his own life. Yet he may be saving lives by finding the evidence that would convince the people of the world that the Queen wasn't fit to rule. 

At least that is what he kept telling himself. 

With a fierce determination, Tom stood from his bed and began his day, ignoring the conflict that battled inside of him.

 

Today found you in your throne room once again, hearing the petitions of the people that could not be dealt with from lower authorities. Your crown rested on your head once more and with it came the weight that fell on you every time you put it on. The stories that came to you were no small matters. Stories of kidnappings, rapes, problems with some of the leadership under you, etc., were the things that came to your throne room. And now, it seemed like you met with over a hundred people a day. 

Sir Hiddleston stood by your side, taking in every matter that came to your attention. His skepticism was hidden decently well, but you saw glimpses of it every once in a while. You appreciate the presence of another person though. His care for people took the place of his desire to agree with you, so you were sure you could count on him to speak his mind if you were to do something incorrect or hurtful to your citizens. 

There was a young woman requesting audience with you that stood out to you painfully. She had gone through all the usual forms to decide if this was worth your time as Queen and it was clearly something that only you could deal with. 

She entered the throne room, bowing low to the ground. Her clothing wasn't expensive, but it was still very clean and taken care of. She had fair blond hair that fell to the middle of her back and a pixie shaped face. In fact, everything about her seemed almost pixie like.

"You may stand", you allow with a smile. Her soft brown eyes met your hesitantly, still visibly afraid. 

"What is your name, child?" You ask, adding in a name that would make her feel more welcome, though you were probably just a few years older than her.

She cleared her throat softly as she kept her gaze on the ground. "Sara... My name is Sara". It was barely loud enough for you to hear but it still somehow reached your ears.

"Sara", you say softly. "What have you come here to require of me?"

Sara glanced at Tom, looking almost scared of his presence. "This is Sir Hiddleston, a man who's first concern is the people of my kingdom. I would not have him by my side if I did not trust that he has the best intentions".

You could feel those brilliantly blue eyes on you as you finished saying this, but you chose to continue focusing on the young woman in front of you.

She nodded nervously once more before telling her story. "Your majesty, I am but a lowly seamstress. I own a small shop just a few towns from here which is enough to get me by most of the time. I came to you concerning a situation that happened last Monday as I was closing up my shop for the night. One of your officials, my lady, came to pick up a dress for his wife. I grabbed it for him without question.  He followed me to the back room where it hung and proceeded to violently rape me". She paused for a moment, gathering herself and wiping the tears that fell."I considered keeping the event to myself for fear of being shamed, but I believe he has done this to other women as well. If your majesty would be so kind to serve justice, there would be many hearts relieved".

 

Tom stared at the Queen, desperate to hear her reply. His heart ached for this young woman who had something so precious stolen from her violently. He would have inquired the name from this Sara before finding the man and stripping him of everything that made him male. 

The Queen stayed silent for a moment, clearly considering what would be best. Her lack of emotion angered him. Finally she spoke, her voice ringing out with the simple question. "What is the name of this man who did such unspeakable things?"

Tom was a little taken back. Perhaps she was genuinely going to be doing what was necessary to help this woman.

"You majesty, the man's name is Knight Matthias", Sara whispered out. Her eyes were back to the floor, almost ashamed to share her rapist's name.

The Queen kept her face passive, simply nodding to show she heard. Silence fell thickly in the throne room as Tom and Sara waited anxiously for her answer. With a quick swivel of her head, the Queen turned her sharp gaze to Tom.

"I would like your advise on this one, Sir Hiddleston", she requested, her gaze curious.

He was taken back. Was this a trick? Or a test? He took a deep breath and considered a logical answer for this hurting woman's plead. Tom met the Queen's gaze, challenging her bravely. "I believe a trial should be put forth, your majesty. For the sake of image, this must be thoroughly searched out to bring justice not only to this young woman", he said, gesturing to Sara, "and any other young women who were wronged by this man. For the time being, we could allow Sara to stay here in the castle under your protection to ensure that her witness isn't stolen due to fear or more wrong doing by this Knight Matthias".

A small smile was playing on the Queen's lips. With a nod, she turned her head from Tom's gaze to face the young woman. 

"I must agree with my adviser. Please, young Sara, stay with us while we search out the truth and keep you safe". A few seconds were spent summoning a maid servant to take care of the seamstress and the matter was over in moments. 

 

The rest of the day was utterly exhausting, but it was something you were used to. The matter was relatively small when considered against war plans, but it mattered to you. Just as you were about to leave the throne room, Sir Hiddleston stopped you with a soft, 'your majesty'. You turned around to face him, reminded of how tall he was with him towering over you.

"I need to ask you something", he said softly. His eyes held that sharp edge still, but there was curiosity in the midst of it.

You nod once. "You may always speak freely in my presence, Sir", you allow. 

"Why did you let me make the decision concerning the seamstress?"

You halfway smiled at his question. "It was a test. I would never allow a man to advise me without equal compassion and determination for truth". Without another word, you turned around and exited the throne room, leaving a very confused man standing there.

 

Tom waited until night fell before exploring the castle on his own. Most everyone was sleeping or they passed you without a glance. It seems that all the people under the Queen foolishly trusted him. 

Most doors were locked and the ones that weren't held files and research that seemed rather overwhelming for one night, so he saved it for a later time. The goal wasn't to find the obvious secrets; it was to get to know his prison. He thanked the heavens for his great sense of direction and ability to memorize routes.

He was nearing the throne room once again, finding the maze to be a lot like a big circle, when he saw light streaming through an open door way. As soon as he peaked through the opening, he realized that this was the Queen's library from the other day. A strange urge overwhelmed him to enter and inspect the room. Perhaps there was something in her desk that would give him insight on her.

The room was still something he was blown away by. The sheer amount of information in one room was so incredibly to see, making him long for a time when you could get all these stories, all this information with a touch of the finger. There hadn't been such a gathering of the written word since the day the world ended violently. 

He ran a finger along the stacks he could reach. There was works by Shakespeare, Robert Frost, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, and so many more. He saw his very favorites and desperately desired to read each of them once more. The stacks were almost never ending as he journeyed through them, seeing the many books that seemed to just continue on and on. He completely forgot about the Queen's desk or any secret hidden there.

Tom was turning a corner when his eyes caught sight of some movement in the corner of the stacks. A lamp sat on a small corner table sitting next to a large, comfortable chair. And sitting on it was a young woman. Her knees were tucked under her and she was comfortably leaning against the side. Her hair was down around her face, hiding her identity from him. A night gown covered her body, yet just barely, from his view. She looked so delicate and he could see a glint of a smile on her lips as she poured over the book in her hands. 

He must have made a shuffling noise of some sort, breaking her from her book. Tom quickly hid from sight, still able to see her. The light caught her face and it was in that moment he realized that this delicate and beautiful young woman was the Queen. 

Her lips were parted ever so slightly as she searched her immediate area for the cause of the noise, her ever present frown had returned to her face. Yet it quickly dissolved when she decided the noise was in her mind and returned to her novel.

Tom knew he should walk away and leave, but he couldn't take his eyes off her. He would explain it away as surveillance later, but at that moment, he was hypnotized by the purity and softness on her face. A real smile, one that didn't appear smug or cruel, spread her lips wide, causing his heart to jump curiously. He shook away the image that came to his mind, scaring him enough to finally leave his hiding spot.

He'd never acknowledge it out loud. There was no way he wanted to hold and kiss the woman who had been the cause of destroying so many lives. There was no way he wanted to read out loud and make her smile like that as much as possible. NO. POSSIBLE. WAY.

What he failed to recognize was the green color around her finger tips, the dark rings around her eyes, and the same dim blueness that even he had on his skin.  


	3. War Room and Battle Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Slight gruesome depictions of war and death. Sorry guys :/ But the ending of this gets pretty heated ;) Sorry for taking forever to respond!! I'm like ridiculously busy and then I got writer's block so I couldn't seem to figure out what to do with this chapter.
> 
> Thank God that I got out of that to bring you guys the next chapter!! Please feel free to comment with any criticisms or anything really lol   
> love ya!

Days passed, each becoming a constant search for control. Tom found himself only more confused about the truth on who the Red Queen actually was and his random meetings with the stranger revealed no important information for the rebellion. All he could see in the capitol city of Esther was love and adoration for the Queen, the whole population taking each commandment with joy and adoration. It was confusing and infuriating for him to see. 

Sara became a permanent residence of the castle, coming across Tom's path occasionally. He enjoyed her smile and her kindness in such a confusing atmosphere. It was as if the sun broke through the storm raging both inside and around him.

Tom remembered the first time he came across her path. He had been walking along a few paths in the garden, appreciating the beauty in each plant filled with life and contemplating the world, when he nearly ran into Sara. A few moments of flustered apologies later and they spent the day talking in that small nook in the garden. 

She was refreshing to be around. There was such an innocence in her countenance and a strength that shone in every movement. Her golden hair was let down to fall along her back in waves, yet her green/blue eyes enchanted him. Her full lips distracted him more than once he had to admit, but he found the control to keep himself from bring her into the mess he was currently involved in.

They spent many days afterwards talking, resulting in even less information, but Tom couldn't bring himself to care. He joined the Queen for many boring sessions of state, matters that seemed almost superficial to him, but that was part of the job description. He knew that he would have to make the decision to be her adviser or not soon, yet he wasn't sure if he could live out such deception for the rest of his life until the Queen's reign had ended, or until he was found out.

It had been a rather slow day when a call rang up from the city gates. Tom looked up from his meager lunch he had chosen to see guards running quickly in their armor. Without a word, he sprinted to the castle entrance to see what the commotion was about. 

Bodies. Broken and bloodied. They were being brought in on stretchers, in arms, anything. Soldiers were trying to help those who were still alive, but too many were too far gone. It looked as whoever these people were had barely escaped without turning the whole thing into a massacre. 

Tom tried to get a hold of himself as his vision began to black out. There were screams and cries from every direction, flooding every sense with the horror. He hadn't seem anything like this since... He shook himself before finishing the thought. 

Suddenly, a cry went out among the wounded. He could barely understand what they said, though it rose above any other sound in the whole room.

They were calling for their Queen. 

Tom turned around to find her standing there, regal in brilliant red robes. Her signature frown had deepened and there was a fire in her eyes that he had never seen before. Where as he may have expected her to remain emotionless, she was visibly furious. 

Without even a nod in his direction, the Queen went to one of the wounded, an elderly man who seemed to have some coherence despite a gaping wound in his side. The man looked up at her hard face in awe before begging, vehemently. 

"Please your majesty!! Get justice for us! For our dead, save us! Don't let them win!" It seemed to be more of a jumble of words, but the Queen took one of his wrinkled hands in her own, before looking him deep in his dying eyes.

"I swear to you, sir. Your death shall be avenged in the name of all that is good in this world", she reassured, her voice breaking ever so slightly. The old man nodded before succumbing to death right there. With a tenderness Tom couldn't believe to be possible, the Queen kissed the limp hand in hers before placing it gently down on the side of the stretcher. 

There were no tears in her eyes as she stood and turned to him. She stood with a fury not unlike an avenging angel. He could almost see her as the angel of death, killing those who dared to oppose her, a sword of flames sitting in her hands. 

In that moment staring into those eyes, he believed that the Red Queen would truly keep her promise.

 

Liars. Manipulative cheaters. Power hungry vultures.

And there you were, surrounded by all of them. There was no way to escape these people, no matter what age of the world it was or what side you stood for. Power corrupts totally and completely; there was no human that was not susceptible to it.  

You had promised yourself you'd change things around, that the world would never be thrown back into war by your own decision. But the rebellion had gone beyond strategically attacking military spots to actually marching into an innocent town  to slaughter hundreds of men, women and children. Very few had survived and they tried to carry as many wounded along with them. It was horrific.

They had gone too far. It was time to fight back.

Your generals, political leaders, and those in authority from near by territories were sitting all around you in the one room you said you would never use: the war room. Lights were brilliant and harsh, making every face lose any complementing shadows. It lit every flaw up.

And that's all you could see. People who wanted to conquer, wanted to  rule and destroy whoever got in their way.

They were currently argue about the best approach to dealing with the rebels. The Knight accused of rape was there as well as one of the higher ranking officials and he seemed just as boisterous as ever. How you wished you could just cut him down right then and there.

Sir Hiddleston sat besides you, your ever present rock in your fury. At first he had seemed shell shocked by what happened, but he came to in enough time to help you go to each of the wounded and take care of them until the medics could arrive. In a place of corruption, he seemed to be the only one who actually cared about the lives being lost. 

"I say we retaliate with something that would be detrimental to them. Take out Owasso, where a great deal of their support is found, and hurt their ability to continue without being supplied fresh troops, food, and everything else they need!" One general suggested.

There was a chorus of agreement met along with a chorus of nays. One of the younger political leaders spoke up. "We can't get into Owasso! They don't just supply the rebellion, but also much of our cattle industry is founded there".

Knight Mattias snorted unpleasantly before making his own statement. "Why do we need them? We have plenty of cattle supplies. Take out the city and cripple the rebellion before they can do anything at all!"

N ot to your surprise, most people agreed with him. 

"No!"

Silence fell as everyone turned to face the owner of the voice who had just yelled out. Sir Hiddleston was standing up from the table, his face furious and his hands balled into fists.

"No?" You asked curiously, eager for his explanation.

This was one of the first things you had said the whole meeting, making the silence grow thicker in the room. Sir Hiddleston turned his body to face you ever so slightly, his face pale all of the sudden. The whole room was eager to here anything you had chosen to speak up on.

He cleared his throat before staring you straight in the eye. "No, your majesty. Owasso shouldn't be attacked", he boldly announced.

"And why exactly do you think that?" You challenge, pushing him just that extra bit. If he was going to speak up, he wasn't going to get to say one word and be done. He was going to speak. 

Hiddleston clenched his jaw, visible in the harsh light. He was standing up seemingly against you and it stunned the whole room. 

"Owasso is filled with herders and innocent people, your majesty. If you were to attack them, there would be an even greater revolt because it would be considered a massacre of even greater levels then what they just did. Farmers cannot defend against soldiers. You would obliterate them", he explained, every word enunciated and accompanied with hand movements.

You stood from your seat, joining him as the only two standing, though it was highly unnecessary. "And what do you suppose I should do? Should we send young men out to a battle field and have even more deaths than what I might be able to spare? What about those who have died? Who are begging me to save them, to avenge their deaths?!" You respond, your voice dangerously low and calm. Any sane person would back down right now, but there was a defiance in those cold blue eyes that fought back with every word you spoke.

"Those young men got a choice to be part of this war. The women and children in Owasso didn't", Sir Hiddleston practically whispered, holding the same fury that your voice did.

You studied him for a moment, taking in the barely contained fury, the challenge he was posing, before taking a step into his space, pulling the threat card. After a moment of hesitation, he sat down. You continued to look into his eyes as you addressed the whole room.

"I want an attack on Owasso, but I don't want full out war with that town. Knight Mattias, I will have you lead a sneak attack into the city to take out their ability to communicate to the rebellion". The anger had tripled in his features by the time you mentioned the Knight. Satisfied, you turned and left the room without a glance to any others. 

 

Tom was furious. The Queen was going to destroy the world that was just recovering from the near extinction of mankind and she didn't even care. Try as he might, he couldn't find it in himself to avoid her. He was going to confront her, make her feel small just as she had done to him in the place where she let her walls down and was vulnerable. 

The library door was unlocked as usual and he didn't bother glancing at the books this time. Winding through the cases, searching desperately for the supposedly innocent and fragile woman, only to not find her in any of the chairs he always found her in. 

After a few moments of storming around, he made it through the maze to a few cases that weren't illuminated, that were enveloped in darkness. He barely made out a slim figure searching through the titles in the dim light. It was clear this place wasn't meant to be touched or even found by the average person.

Tom walked up to her, not bothering to be quiet, making her turn around and face him as he stormed into her personal space. The light from far off allowed a glint off her face where a tear drop was resting. Confusion was cl ear on all her features.

"You are making a terrible mistake,  _YOUR MAJESTY_ ", Tom said in the most rude tone he could muster. "You are a foolish child without any idea what you are doing! You will destroy this whole town in your own fury and anger because someone won't let you get your own way!" They were inches from each other, the Queen backed against the bookcase, her nightgown once again barely covering her, her hair falling in loose waves around her faces. He had gone back almost every night to see her, this different side of the Queen since he first discovered her, but having her this close was terribly distracting. 

"Who do you think you are, Sir Hiddleston?!" She furiously challenged. "Have you forgotten who you are speaking to?! You do not even have the title of my adviser to save you! What would make you think that I would not call my soldiers to my aid even now and have your tongue cut out for such a tone!" Some how the threat wasn't the same when she was backed against a hard surface and inches away from him. 

Tom smirked deviously. "Then call for them your majesty. That's how you deal with every time someone tries to get through to you any ways. Why should I even try?"

He could almost make out a small growl escape the lips of the Queen, throwing his mind into confusion while his body felt like it had been set aflame. "How dare you! You know nothing, Sir, and while maybe you have allowed yourself to become blind to the truth, it doesn't mean that your crooked view of the world is wholly accurate! Now get out of my space, before I..."

"Before you what?" Tom challenged. You both were breathing hard and shouting in each other's faces. Heat was burning throughout his whole body, threatening to overtake his mind with the weirdest form of desire he had ever experienced before. 

"Before I personally have to be forced... " Her next words were cut off by his lips meeting hers. Her surprise gave him access to her mouth, ravishing every inch of it with his tongue. One of her dainty hands slipped up into his ginger curls and pulled him closer. She joined him in his dance, lining his thin lips with her luscious tongue before battling for dominance with his.

Tom pressed against her with every ounce of his body and she clung tighter to him. He could feel every curve against his muscled body and it only made the feel even more incredible.

He didn't want to stop, but he needed to. He wanted her, to take her roughly right there against the book case, to break her and make the queen of the whole world blush, completely at his mercy. but he couldn't... not with someone he hated so much. At least that's what he told himself.

With a lewd pop, he released her mouth suddenly, leaving her stunned and dazed against the bookcase. Tom looked down at her lips before kissing them once more, slower, as if to share the fire he felt burning throughout his whole body. He bit her lip gently as he pulled away, causing her to moan deliciously. He kissed a path across her chin, her neck, leaving little bite marks until he got to her ear. 

"I think I'll take the job", he whispered softly, feeling her shiver softly against him. It was all he could do not to stay there and finish the job, but he decided get out of that corner as fast as possible, leaving them to both deal with the confusion racing through them.


	4. Turning Tables

The next morning, Tom woke with a feeling of peace and satisfaction. His pride and ego was built to the point that it was refreshing. The woman he hated was now being played into his hand. Of course it took some ignoring of that tiny twinge of guilt that hit him every time he thought about it, but he decided that his conscious could just take a hike for a while.

Everything was perfect. Until the moment he realized that his hands were shackled to the bed post. 

The shackles are almost medieval, one part around each wrist and from there it connected to the headboard, making it impossible to move more than an inch without being pulled short against the cold metal. Tom struggled to no avail at the bindings, but the shackles held strong. 

"Look who's finally awake", a melodic voice called out from the corner. Sitting there at his desk with what appeared to be breakfast, was the Queen. She looked fierce once again in a deep purple dress that hugged her curves. Even sitting, her stance looked a lot like a cat playing with a mouse, clearly aware that she had the upper hand and there was every intention of making this go as long as possible. 

She was studying the room closely in between sips of tea. "This room isn't exactly fitting for you. We will have set up a new one outside of the guest wing". It was as if she hadn't acknowledged the fact he was shackled yet.

Tom struggled once more against the shackles. "What are you doing?! Let me out of these!" He exclaimed while struggling. Somewhere in this mess he realized the only clothes he had gone to bed in were underpants, leaving most of his body bare. 

A devious smile kissed her lips. "Ah, but this is what you wanted wasn't it?" She stood, slowly sashaying over to the bed side. "The way your approached me last night clearly spoke your desire".

"What are you talking about?! I never did anything that equals being shackled against my will!" Tom practically yelled. He couldn't quite figure out what the Queen was doing, but a few scenarios popped into his mind that were both terrifying and oddly exciting at the same time. 

One long, red nail drew a line down his chest, making a path between his pectorals. "Your actions last night told me you had no interest in being my adviser", she purred. Without even realizing it, Tom's breathing quickened as the sensation of her touch poured through him. "Clearly you want to offer yourself to your Queen as a male consort of sorts". Her tone had taken on a tone that made it sound like she was laughing. 

Tom's indignation was cut short by that same finger being pressed against his lips. "But I must admit I have no purpose for a consort. If you really desire that position, I will see if I can make an exception in your case". The Queen winked at him before pulling a chain from her neck, the end holding a beautiful key. "If I perhaps misunderstood,  and you would like to be my adviser, this will set you free from your shackles".

The Queen then laid the key down on the dresser, just out of his reach before turning to leave. 

"Wait! How am I supposed to reach that?!" Tom yelled at her retreating figure. 

She turned just barely, giving him the glimpse of another devious smile. "I'm not quite sure, Sir Hiddleston, but if you want to stay as my adviser, I would suggest being in the war room in an hour", and with that, she left him to his confusion.

 

You were feeling pretty good about yourself. Last night had been embarrassing for you because you were very capable of getting him off you, but you let him kiss you.  It was a moment of weakness that terrified you to be honest. But being able to turn the tables on him was so worth it. 

It was 2 minutes until the meeting began when he practically sprinted in. His usually perfect hair was strewn in a curly mess, sweat drops on his forehead. His clothes were wrinkled, looking quite a lot like he had just thrown them on. He didn't meet your gaze as he sat, but it was clear to see the anger seething under the surface. 

The meeting was rather dull and unimportant, but it was necessary for the exact plans of the sneak attack. There was a place where the whole city of Owasso kept it's goods that must be taken out to damage their ability to support the rebellion. It would mean a hard winter for some, but it was the safest answer without a full out attack on the city itself

The meeting was over rather quickly and Sir Hiddleston never said a word neither to you nor to anyone else. As soon as it had finished he stormed out quickly, leaving before anyone else could. In retrospect, that was a huge insult to you, but you just enjoyed winning so much. 

What he didn't know is that while he was in the meeting, his room was changed into the adviser's room, which was unfortunately right next yours. A pang of agony hit you as you thought of the last person who inhabited that room, but she was long dead. The adviser had to be the person you trusted most with your life and they had to know as much about you as possible. Otherwise corruption would be found in either position. 

You waited an hour before you decided to go see how he was settling in. You knocked softly on the door that led to one of the fanciest rooms of the entire castle. It was doubtful that he would actually appreciate the gesture, but appearance matters. 

 

Tom opened the door to find the Queen standing there patiently. He nearly closed the door in her face, but he was already walking a fine line. He took a step to let her into the new room before closing the door behind her. 

The room was actually quite beautiful. There was tapestries and an elegant bed the size of two kings, plus much more furniture than he would ever use. The whole room looked more like an apartment than a room, a bathroom leading off as well as a walk in closet, filled with clothing that fit his new title. 

It had been shocking being led to this room after a servant informed him that his possessions had been moved. Of course they were all laid out in the new room, but he hadn't expected the sudden change. If there was one thing the Queen was good at, it was playing all of her cards. 

Tom sat at the large table, kicking his feet up as he looked to the woman standing in the middle of his room. She hid her emotions well, choosing instead to study him. 

"Do you like your new room, Sir?" She asked almost in a monotone. 

Tom shrugged and tried to look nonchalant. If this was going to be a battle of who snapped first, it was definitely not going to be him. 

He heard a tiny exhale from her. "Did Philip show you the different specialties of this room?"

"Philip?" Tom asked shortly. 

"Yes, Philip", she answered without much emotion whatsoever. "I had assigned him to move your stuff and help you get to know your new home". 

"Hmmm..." was the only answer she got back. 

With a sigh, the Queen moved to a far corner of the room to the fire place. She pressed a special knot in the midst of the mantle that held a particularly red rose. With a loud noise, the wall next to the fire place moved to show a doorway. Tom tried to hide his surprise at the sudden change, but he clearly failed. 

"This is what I need to show you. As my adviser, you must know me better than any other human and I must always be able to get access to you", she explained before gesturing to the open doorway. "Through that doorway is my room. Now, one thing I need most from you is to help me change the stigma about myself. And those things will not change without a good person like you changing it. From my knowledge of you, I know you would never just convince people to love a Queen you yourself hate. So here's your chance, Sir, to pick m y brain, to get to know everything about me that you want to know". She jutted her chin forward to show she could  take anything he threw at her. Tom was a bit blown back by her request, by her willingness to just open up. 

He stood slowly from his seat before walking over to join the Queen by the mantle. Through the open door way, he caught a glimpse of an even grander room, but he kept his attention on her. 

"Tell me, your majesty, why would send Knight Mattias into battle as a leader?" Tom asked slowly, desperately hoping for his curiosity to be answered. 

She barely blinked. "Because, despite his faults, he's a descent special general who is placed in charge of all covert missions. That and it will be a lot easier to find out what horrible things he had been doing if he isn't around to torment his victims". 

The honesty of the statement couldn't be questioned. He could see truth burning in her eyes. They weren't far apart and the tension had returned, making his brain work a lot slower. 

"And what made you choose me as your adviser?" He asked, taking another step closer. 

"I heard how you treated the people under you, how you cared for others, and knew that I would not be satisfied with another person. You were the most selfless man in all the world", she breathed out. Her facade was dropping, as she answered each question which was probably intentional. She was choosing to let herself be vulnerable. 

He paused to study her before taking another step. "And why, my Queen, did you let me kiss you last night?" The more he thought about it, the more he knew she was capable of fighting back, of pushing him off, but instead she had kissed him back. 

She exhaled softly as her eyes fell to her shoes for a moment. "Because it felt nice, to be kissed by you, Sir". Her tone never changed, but her stance had weakened a little bit. 

One more step. "Please", he said as he lifted her face to meet her eyes. "Call me Tom". 

"Tom...", she said, trying out his name on her lips. Those lips that were so distracting to him once again, the called to him with every movement. 

He leaned in close enough to brush his nose across hers. "One more question for now", he began, his breath washing warmly down her face. "What is your real name?"

There was a pause as she contemplated answering. She inhaled deeply as a hint of fear crossed into her eyes before whispering out, "(y/n)"

Without another word, Tom kissed her passionately. It was like breathing each other in beyond anything physical. He could taste her, the real her and it was the most beautiful thing he had ever had the pleasure of tasting. He hooked one arm around her waist and pulled her in deeper as he explored her mouth with his tongue. The other went to her thick curls. She clung to him, pushing herself on the tips of her toes to be as close as possible. Fire spread through out his veins an d the familiar pooling heat began to excite the lower half of him. 

She moved against him as she shifted closer, causing him to growl fiercely against her lips before drawing her as close as humanly possible, moving just enough to have her against the hard surface of the wall. One hand ventured down to start pulling up her skirts, just so she could wrap those lovely legs around his waist and move more against him where they both needed it. 

Suddenly, she released him quickly and moved away from his embrace. The sudden lose of her warmth was annoying and he was just about to ask what was wrong when she walked through the passageway before shutting the door behind her. 


	5. Inner Musings and Outer Defense

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So originally, this story was among the first fics I'd published along with Love and War and Only in Our Wildest Dreams. When I came back and brought my stories back along with me, I didn't get very much feedback on this one so I focused on other fics for the time being. I thought maybe I should add a chapter and see if there's much interest in this story for me to continue it!
> 
> tl;dr Feedback is appreciate and needed if you want to read more of this one!

The palace gardens were truly beautiful. Most of the world was recovering from the war, but the soil just couldn’t produce the same beauty it once had before humanity destroyed everything. Tom heard a few rumors of specific places returning to their former glory. Maybe he’d travel one day, searching for the remnants of his world.

He walked the lengths of the garden alone, allowing his thoughts to run rampant in the peace of his solitude. Whatever game he was playing with the Queen was a dangerous one. Tom wasn’t exactly someone driven by sexual desires like a young man, but she brought out the reckless side of him. Perhaps this whole adventure caused him to lose his ability to be sensible. 

No, this wasn’t a game he wanted to play. The Queen was a real person under the title. She dreamed, loved, cared, feared, and hated, just like he did. She surprised him around every corner, sending his whole part in this plot to destroy her into question. Did she necessarily deserve the trap being laid out before her feet?

“Sir Hiddleston!” A gentle voice called to him, bringing his attention to the smiling face of his new friend.

“Ah, Lady Sara. How are you feeling this lovely day?” Tom responded warmly. 

Her cheeks was a pretty pink color, freckles peppering her pale face. The sun turned her fair hair almost strawberry blonde, something he found quite beautiful. “You know I’m not a lady, Sir”, she answered with a shy smile. “But I must admit, living in the palace makes me almost believe I could be a Princess”.

“You really must start calling me Thomas if I cannot call you Lady Sara”, Tom determined warmly. “And you might be one of the few residents here who actually deserve to be royalty”. He bowed low and dramatically to emphasize his statement. 

He was rewarded with an eruption of giggles. “You are quite silly, Thomas. No one bows to a seamstress”.

“Something must really be done about that”, he answered, turning very suddenly serious. “I suppose I’ll have to see if I can persuade the Queen to make the seamstress the new title for only the most beautiful women in our province”. He gave her a subtle wink and watched her face go from a light pink to a deep red.

“You shouldn’t lie”, Sara mumbled softly, staring at a particularly interesting flower. 

Tom took a step closer to her, nudging her chin so she would look up and meet his gaze. She appeared so dazed by him, hesitant and gentle in every way. A small memory flashed in the back of his mind, the Queen whispering her name with the same gaze, but he shoved it away. “I most certainly would never lie, my dear”, he reassured. 

The air was thick for a moment and Tom almost leaned down and kissed her. She deserved to be really kissed and wooed. She deserved to have a man who would treat her as a princess, who would take her nightmares and turn them into the happiest dreams she had only heard of. She deserved to have someone’s children and be able to experience life fully with a man. But Tom couldn’t offer that. Not to her or anyone. 

He took a step away, exhaling and regaining his control. The look of her disappointed face almost made him remedy his action by kissing her passionately, but that wouldn’t help anyone. 

A small cough shattered the moment like a pickaxe against a mirror. The Queen stood on the edge of her garden, just within view. Her face didn’t reveal anything, her daily mask in place without any change. 

“Sir Hiddleston”, she began, immediately addressing her interruption without any awkwardness. “I apologize for interrupting your conversation, but I need to speak with you about some matters of state”. She turned to Sara, smiling much like a mother smiles at her child. “Miss Sara, how are you feeling? I hope you are finding peace among the walls of our castle”

Sara immediately curtseyed, albeit a little clumsily, and managed to stumble out an answer. “Yes, your majesty. The safety of your home has given me a new peace unlike I have experienced since before”. She never looked up from her feet, showing reverence in her own way. 

“I’m glad to hear that. I will have you know that the case against your attacker is coming along well and my informants have discovered other victims who may be joining our merry band in these walls soon”. The Queen turned towards Tom once again, returning to the business at hand. “If you would follow me, Sir”. Without another word, she turned on her heel and headed back into the cold confines of the castle.

Tom nodded at Sara before joining the Queen at her brisk pace. There was a moment of silence, one that made him feel uncomfortable and a little guilty for reasons he couldn’t place. She just kept walking until they arrived at the Queen’s quarters, which she entered without a single pause. 

The glimpse he was offered the previous day didn’t do the room justice. The high ceilings were covered with beautiful art work, gold framing nearly everything, as if the very paint itself had real gold in it. Everything was covered in shades of red and gold, filling the space with warmth and regality at the same time.  

It also appeared her quarters was more of a suite, as the room they entered was more of a sitting room. There were multiple shut doors along the walls, probably leading to a bedroom, a bathroom, and a closet. The furnishings were immaculate and comfortable, clearly handcrafted by the best artists the world had left. And there was a wonderful smelling aroma coming from a teapot on a small table in front of a settee. 

The Queen gave enough time for him to take everything in before gesturing to sit besides her as she prepared two cups of tea.

“Sugar and cream?” she asked brusquely. He edged over to her, watching her actions closely.

“Don’t you have servants for that, your majesty?” Tom asked curiously.

She appeared to sigh a little before giving him a look that told him he needed to stop asking stupid question. “Again, Sugar and cream?”

“Sugar, please, and a dash of cream”, he answered finally, sitting besides her. She prepared the tea perfectly before handing him the saucer like a perfect hostess. It was another moment before she finished her own cup and sipped it in silence. Perhaps she was searching for a way to ask him about Sara, about the affection he openly showed her after their fierce trysts. Maybe he should explain. 

“Your majesty”, he began, taking a deep breath for confidence. “I am not sure what you saw today in the gardens, but I supposed you expect me to explain…”

She waved off his explanation, stopping his attempt altogether. “Sir Hiddleston, what you do with your free time is of no consequence to me, as long as you remain in good standing with our people. I did not ask you here as a jealous woman. My silence is simply me trying to find the words for a request I must present you”, she explained completely. Tom nodded, taking in her words with relief. 

After another moment, she started again. “I know you’ve only been by my side for a short time, but the outer territories are steadily falling into chaos. The only way for me to control the anarchy from here is to use force, but I have no desire to shed blood in ways that could be fixed with a little danger. I would like to leave tonight and personally try to negotiate peace, to give the villages a face to believe in. But they will not find peace if it’s just my face they see. They need your reassurance. I need it”, the Queen admitted without any shame. “Would you be willing to put your name on the line for the sake of lives being spared?”

“When do we leave?” Tom asked without a moment of hesitation.

  
  
  
  


You hated carriages. How you missed the comfort of cars and planes and technology. No matter how long you went without modern conveniences, there would always be a part of you that was reminded of how easy live was before. Now, to travel 15 miles, you had to be bounced around and dust caked, all while wearing a corset. 

Tom sat completely unaffected, looking impeccable as usual. You tried not to think about the state of your hair or your dress or what you looked like to him, hoping to maintain your visual indifference. 

Something was different since the night before. Something shifted in the relationship the two of you were playing in. The game was still there, but transparency opened the door to a friendship that they weren’t capable of without it. Not that you particularly enjoyed showing a white flag, but sometimes you had to lose a battle to win the war. 

You couldn’t deny how your body responded to him. It was natural, you supposed, but it was incredibly distracting. You couldn’t quite get rid of the small pang in your heart when you saw him close to kissing Sara. She was quite beautiful in ways you’d never be again. Maybe she would bring him the comfort that you and him would never experience. But it didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. 

Now that made you hate yourself distinctly. What were you, 18? One choice made hundreds of years ago took away any happiness you’d ever desire. Now it was your job to ensure that others would experience the happiness stolen from you. Tom hadn’t figured it out yet, maybe he wouldn’t ever, but you knew about him. You both made that decision and survived long enough to be the last two alive. 

Until a couple months ago, you thought it was just you and your sister left, but when you heard of the famous Tom Hiddleston among the villages, you knew. Maybe it was selfish to not want to be alone because without your sister, you thought you were completely and utterly abandoned by anyone who knew the truth. But Tom was hope, was the strength to know you weren’t. 

Light began to stream through the windows of the carriage, torches illuminating the village they were entering. This was the first place said to be dealing with discord, just some discord among the villagers, clearly the result of some sort of rebel propaganda that reached their ears. This village was known for warm hearts and hard workers, so this would be the experiment to see if this would work to help the peace. 

The coach driver called out a ‘woah’ and the carriage lurched to a stop. You knew the villagers would have gathered around her caravan to see their infamous Queen with their own eyes. You took a deep breath to steel your nerves, preparing for whatever may come. Suddenly, you felt the comforting caress of a hand against yours. You looked up to meet Tom’s gaze, holding a reassurance that you found warming to your heart. 

Your guards opened the door to allow Tom out and announced the full titles of the both of you. Through the small door, you could see him shake hands with the villagers and smile at them the way he just did to you. He was reassuring them and they believed him just like you did. How you wish you could naturally put people at ease like that.

Descending from the carriage wasn’t an easy feat, but you were determined to not look like an idiot in front of your audience. A hush fell through the crowd as they gazed on you. Some faces held awe, some worry, and hostility in a very few. 

“I wish to speak with Samson Kanton”, You called out unwaveringly. A figure stepped out among the people, a simple man by the looks of him, but he held the confidence of leadership you recognized immediately. 

“I am Samson, your majesty. To what do we deserve the honor of your visit this night?” The man answered, his voice rough and old, like sandpaper and whisky. 

You turned towards the guard at your left, who handed you a box with gifts specifically for Samson and his family. “Samson Kanton, it is a pleasure to finally meet you. I’ve heard much about your continued wisdom and leadership that has led this village to the success it has found. I wanted to come myself to thank you for both your service, but also the kindness you have shown the people here.  Too many men are cruel task masters, yet you have created harmony in your village with ease”. You presented the gift to him with a curtsey that was bound to surprise every person in the crowd. “You have the gratitude of your Queen, Samson”.

The silence was thick as you looked into the face of a man clearly baffled and overwhelmed. It had always been your plan to visit this village when you could find time, but war had stopped your ability to travel safely. You weren’t trying to lie or present gifts to win him over, but instead show the genuine gratitude you held for these leaders who made your kingdom a success. 

“Well, I’m not sure what to say, your majesty. We are a humble people who just try our best. Nothing great by any means. You don’t need to give me anything, your majesty. I’m not sure I’d know what to do with any fancy pieces of gold anyways”, Samson stumbled and tried to decline a little. 

“I promise you my gifts were a little more thoughtful, sir”, you said with a knowing smile. “As to your people, we have gifts for every household as well. Supplies to help with your farming, new tools and stronger metals, as well as thick wool for the hard winters. Your gift is a particular bearskin from our northern territories that you might add to your personal collection as a game hunter”, you explained, guards unloading from the caravan with the aforementioned supplies. There was chatter and reactions among the people as they looked at their gifts with joy and excitement. Tears glinted in the eyes of the man before you as he truly began to appreciate the gifts you offered. 

“Thank you, your majesty. I don’t know what to say, but thank you”, Samson choked out through his emotions. “Is there anything we can do for you in return?”

You smiled warmly. “The only thing more I could ask from your village is a place to rest for the night before I continue my travels”, you requested as humbly as you could manage.

“You will stay in my family’s home tonight. We may not have much, your majesty, but we will give you every comfort we have to offer”. 

 

It was later that night when you finally had a chance to talk with Tom again. A wild boar was shot that very day and you were treated with a village feast. You doubted that every village would be so warm, but you could appreciate it while you had it. It was a one room house, but they gave you their bed to sleep in and cots for the men. Tom was currently set up in the cot straight next to the bed so you could take a moment to discuss the day with him.

“Do you think the people responded well? Did I return their belief in their Queen, or did I just get them gifts?” You asked, not worrying about the slight worry peaking through your tone. 

Tom seemed to think for a moment, his face less guarded than it always was. You wondered why he always seemed so far away, so hidden beneath millions of layers. Every response was filtered and weighed before it actually came out. Truth be told, you hated that. Eventually, he’d filter less, or at least that’s what you told yourself.

“I believe they saw a side of their queen tonight that they weren’t expecting. You caught them off guard. Now they’ve only been presented with rumors, so their doubts are easily laid to rest by personal experience. You gave them undeniable proof that will only be disputable if they were to visually see an act of cruelty from you. I believe today was a success for you”, he finished with a soft smile your way. You tried to ignore the way your heart paused when he looked at you, with your hair in ringlets around your face and most of your heavy makeup off. You left a simple layer to keep yourself from looking to abnormal to curious eyes. But he looked at you like you were more beautiful without your layers. Just like he was, those moments when he’d really smile and give you a glimpse. 

“Thank you, Tom, for standing beside me”, you whispered gently. His eyes became guarded again, causing an immediate disappointment to fill you. 

He closed his eyes and laid down on his cot. “You’re welcome, your majesty”. 


	6. Breaking Apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING!!!!!!!
> 
> There is a bit of graphic depictions in this one. If you are sensitive to depressive episodes or cutting, feel free to not read this chapter and skip on. I don't want to make anyone have a difficult time, I just feel this chapter is absolutely necessary to the characterization of the reader and the relationship between Tom and the reader.
> 
> If you can get through some of the graphic stuff, there's some really sweet and loving stuff between Tom and the reader.
> 
> As always, feedback is loved and appreciated!

Tom was thoroughly confused. 

How could the woman he was stuck with in close quarters for weeks be the same Queen he knew to be a villain? Why in the world couldn’t things just be simple for one goddamn time?

The trip was a complete success in most every town they visited. However, the further they ventured into rebel territory, the more angry and hateful the people became. It started out as scepticism and reluctance before it turned into full on venom very thinly veiled. Nonetheless, a difference was clearly being made. Just as the Queen won him over little by little, she’d done the same with anyone who spoke with her. 

Her majesty was thrilled with the success, so she pushed on, not daunted by the negative reactions or by the nearness to rebel camps. Owasso was now only a few hours from their location and it was clear none of these villages expected to see the face of their Queen until the rebel army lost and she would come to behead them all. 

He began his regular entrance, smiling and reassuring the people who met his gaze. People seemed genuinely surprised to find him supporting the Queen and it allowed many to open their ears to what she had to say. Just as he’d finished shaking a few hands, he met the eyes of a man holding a piece of paper out for him, trying to be as sneaky as he possibly could. Tom met the man’s eyes, a dark mystery before he nodded a the paper just as Tom took it from between his fingers. The exchange was completely missed by the guardsmen, thanks to her majesty exiting the carriage. 

In one moment, the truth of his situation came rushing back. There were moments where he could pretend that he really did believe in this woman and her reign, but those precious moments fell away like glass shattering. Whether or not his cause was correct, Tom found the guilt almost unbearable. He had to stare into the vulnerable and genuine face of a woman who clearly thought she was doing what was best for the people she cared about. 

Tom was sure her majesty had begun to notice his weird attitude that night, but he did his best to play along like always. Even as she became the woman no one else got to see and bared her thoughts before sleeping, he tried to keep himself at a distance. It shouldn’t be so hard. Something about the Queen as she dropped the layers of her act and became (Y/N) made Tom want to give her the same transparency. She trusted him, whether or not he deserved it.

Sneaking away from the small hobble they were sleeping in for the night proved less difficult than he thought. The night air was a bit chillier, signaling the return of harvest time. The full moon allowed for shadows to hide and sneak as Tom searched for his hooded man. He was sure to emerge just when he wanted to, but never before. 

“Ah, there’s our little spy”, a grating voice barely murmured from right behind Tom. He resisted the urge to shudder as he turned to face the owner of the voice. There the mystery man stood, his features mostly hidden by the hood, though his distinctly green eyes and yellowed teeth seemed almost luminescent. 

Tom nodded as a form of greeting. “You’ve called me here. What do you want from me?” He asked, trying to hide the edge that wanted to escape into his tone. 

“Just a small conversation, Thomas”, the man said with a small smirk. “We’ve left you alone for a while to find us information that would help the rebel cause. It’s time you proved yourself…” he paused, looking Tom over with a inspecting glance. “...useful”.

Tom knew this was coming eventually. Somehow it was harder than he first thought it’d be. “What kind of information are you looking for? If you are asking about troop movements, all I know about has already taken place in Owasso. Or if you want to know about tactical responses, it is anything but limited. Within 20 minutes of the attack on Lisben, there were medics and palace guard everywhere”. Maybe, just maybe that would be enough without making him feel like he was truly betraying the Queen. 

“We did not place you by the Queen’s side to discover troop movements. You were placed there to tell us about her, her weaknesses, her desires, how you’ve manipulated her for the cause”, the man interrupted, a small amount of annoyance seeping through his tone. 

This was obvious to Tom, that this was always the original intent. He was supposed to get close to the Queen and own her heart, mind, and body. He had no other purpose as a particularly attractive man. There was always the hope that the rebels wouldn’t ask this of him, but this was a time of hopes being trampled. “I… I’m not sure exactly what you are looking for then”, Tom stumbled a little, scared of the emotions that welled up inside of him.

“Just tell me what you’ve learned about her”.

Flashes of memories ran through his head. The Queen in her alcove of books, completely free from the cares of the throne. The feel of her body against his. The way she shuddered when Tom got close, like his very breath caressed her. The way she whispered her name to him, fear and vulnerability shining in her beautiful eyes. The way she had to prep herself before every speech, a deep breath while panic screamed in her body language. The way she thought through every gift in every town. The way she blushed when the slightest bit of praise that went outside of her station as Queen was addressed to her. The way she looked at him for reassurance. 

“I…” Tom tried to begin with no avail. “I don’t think… there’s really nothing to report…” he tried to avoid, looking anywhere but at the man, the man who made him into a weapon against one of the most genuine woman he’d ever had the pleasure of knowing. 

“I think we both know that’s not true, Thomas”, the voice of the man becoming ever more snide and rough, pressing further.

Tom just shook his head. “There’s nothing I know that will help the cause. I’m sorry I’ve failed you, but it’s the truth”.

“You know”, the man paused, swinging a cane into the air threateningly. “There’s been rumors among the people. They’ve watched how you both look at each other, the way you freely speak to her majesty”. He said that title with more bitterness than was probably warranted. “I’m not a fool and neither are you. So stop playing a fool and tell me what exactly is going on between you and that whore of a woman”

In a surge of anger, Tom reached for the man, grasping his clothing and shoving his face as threateningly close as he could. “Don’t call her that!” He growled. The hood covering the man’s face fell away to reveal the smug face of an elderly man, deformed by scars covering most of his features, like his face had been melted by fire. Tom stepped back and let go of him quickly, surprised as ever. 

The man didn’t respond until his hood was secured once more, looking completely unbothered by the turn of events. “That is more than enough information, Thomas. Thank you. I only have one question left that is imperative to the war”, he said.

“What else?” Tom sighed out, exasperated and truly hating himself.

The yellow smile appeared once more before he got his response. “The next city on the Queen’s list to visit”.

 

 

 

 

Another day and another hour trip in a carriage. You found yourself getting used to the constant travel and it became less wearying as it had been. Of course the dust was still a nuisance and the heat insufferable in your hideous corset, but your body seemed to adapt. 

Tom was quiet today, much like he was the night before. Not that he talked very much around you, but he seemed even more distant than normal. You tried multiple times to grab his attention by talking about the weather or some of the rest of the happenings on the trip. He was always polite of course. Yet only a few words ever escaped his beautiful mouth. 

God, how you wished you had a friend to pass the time with. Up until a couple months ago, you always had someone to be close with, to fill the void of life with companionship. Tom clearly didn’t trust you enough yet to fill that void, but there was a part of you that felt like you were drowning without someone who knew you and you knew them. Perhaps that is what it means to be Queen.

You found yourself thinking over old memories with the one person you’d always been able to count on as your friend. There were many years to occupy your mind with until finally the driver pulled the coach short and it was time to perform once again. You breathed deeply to focus. Apparently it was silly to think you’d just get used to this and it wouldn’t be so nerve wracking. 

Tom’s hand found yours, just like it had every other town before now, but when you met his gaze, it was colder than normal. Perhaps he was just tired. Without a word, he left the carriage and began his round about. You then waited another moment before descending your carriage gracefully. 

A scream broke your concentration as a group of men with swords advanced on your caravan. Your guards immediately stood their ground to protect you, but they were very quickly overwhelmed. The sound of metal clashing and the smell of blood filled the air as men yelled and screamed and cried out in pain. You stood there a little stunned, not quite sure how to respond before you vaguely became aware of being shoved into your carriage and being raced out of the scene. The last thing you saw before the walls of the carriage close around you was the pale face of your youngest officer lying on the ground, completely still and covered in a blanket of blood.

Shock was entirely unlike you, but that face was going to haunt you. His mother and sister had been killed in the attack of Lisben. He’d stood by you because he believed in your rule, despite the blood of his own family being on your hands. You should have seen the attack coming. You should have saved his mother and sister. And now his blood would be on your hands too. 

“Your majesty!” A voice slipped through the fog of your mind. But you didn’t want to come to. You didn’t want someone to see what was happening to you. This was your fault. You chose to go into dangerous territories to risk the lives of men like they were nothing. All because you were vain enough to care if people liked you. You barely registered the speed you were careening at, allowing your body to be tossed whatever way it wished. Maybe if you died tonight, you wouldn’t have to live with the blood on your hands. New fresh, red blood.

“(Y/N)!” Someone yelled and it finally snapped you out of it. Tom was sitting across from you, holding onto your face to try and get some reaction. He looked a little dirty like he’d been scuffed up getting into the carriage. Good. At least his blood wasn’t on your hands too. Tears began streaming down your face unbidden by you and the look on his face made you hate yourself all the more. A face that beautiful should never look that sad. 

“It’s my fault”, you whispered. “All my fault”, you just managed out. From the looks of your vision, it appeared you were shaking, but you couldn’t stop. Tom moved to sit next to you and pulled you into his warm embrace, allowing you to rest your head against his chest in his best attempt to comfort you. The bouncing of the carriage didn’t quite help, but he was clearly making an effort. 

There was a switch that flipped somewhere inside of you. It wasn’t a good one and you knew that, but there was no way to reach out and tell someone you needed help. The thoughts screaming at you kept you from asking anyone for help. How could the Queen of the world be so absolutely pitiful? 

The hours slipped by as Tom held you securely, while your mind and soul fell away from reality just a bit. 

 

 

 

It was nearly 4 hours of driving before the carriage arrived in a secure location, a camp where the Queen would be safe. Tom was still in a bit of shock himself. He’d never imagined that the rebels would have attacked like that. But that was war. Maybe he’d been too far away from it for too long. It seemed that it affected him again in ways he wished he could be hard to. It’s always hard to see how something is necessary when you watch someone die before your eyes. 

The guilt was eating away at him as the slowed down and were let out. The once full guardsmen were now almost halved and they lost a few wagons of supply in the battle. The surviving men look a little worn, but seemed to be celebrating a safe getaway. He knew their sheathed swords would come to life the moment they were to find out he was the cause of the deaths of their friends. 

The Queen, however, seemed lost to the world. She was aware of everything going on, but was completely distant from reality. This was the way an innocent person reacts to the first time they see bloodshed. She didn’t seem like the kind of person who would go into shock. She wasn’t that fragile. But Tom saw something deeper. It wasn’t shock. It was something much more sinister that was eating away at her. 

General Towney greeted Tom warmly, grateful he’d been quick enough to get the Queen to safety before she could be injured, before giving her majesty his quarters for the night. She nodded a thank you before slipping away. There was still blood splatter on her skirts as she walked away from them. Tom asked that the General would have his servants draw water for a bath so she might be refreshed. 

Everything was prepared as he requested, but it did nothing to calm his nerves. He was worried for the Queen, for that vulnerable woman who looked like she was falling apart. And she had no one, no one to talk to and help her carry her burden. She cared too much for the lives lost in her name. And it was so beautiful and so sad to him.

After an hour of nervous pacing, he finally decided to go see how she was doing. Guards were posted around every entrance on the house, but they didn’t stop him entrance. It was probably his duty as her right hand to hear her next orders and make sure her every need was met. Tom was thankful they didn’t stop him. He wasn’t sure he could say anything other than “I need to tell her it was my fault and not hers”.

The house was a bit larger than many of the house he’d stayed for the duration of the trip, warmly lit by a roaring fire. There were two floors and the master bedroom was on the main floor, so that’s where he went first. The bed sheets were completely undisturbed, freshly prepared for her majesty. Tom’s heart pounded in his ears as his panic rose, running to every door in search of his Queen. 

He’d reached one of three doors upstairs when he finally found her, lying naked in a tub. There was only one dimly lit candle to illuminate the room, but he could clearly see her hunched over shape sitting up in the copper bath. For a moment, it looked like she was fine and he almost quietly left to keep from disturbing her, but then he realized the bath water was pink, but it wasn’t from the copper tub. 

“(Y/N)?” Tom called out, walking over to your side. “Are you alright?” 

She didn’t respond with words, the only sounds coming from her were sobs. Tom reached her side and knelt to get a closer look. She was holding a small dagger in her hand while multiple cuts on the tops of her thighs bled lightly into the water. Tom inhaled deeply, realizing the horrifying truth. The reason why she stopped him when he tried to pull her dress up. It made sense now. 

The first step was clearly getting the dagger out of her hands before she did any more damage to herself. “Shhh…”, he soothed, brushing tears off her face. “It’s alright, darling. It’s going to be alright”. He managed to pull the dagger from her grasp and placed it far away on the floor. “There, there. I’ve got you, (Y/N)”, he whispered as he pulled her out of the water, not caring he was getting soaked as well and dried her off before setting her on the ledge of the tub. She didn’t complain or say a word as he took care of her. There was thin white scars on her arms and thighs, almost indistinguishable as they covered every possible space. This was a habit of many years. 

Tom wrapped her thighs in some spare bit of bandage he found in the cupboard to the side of the room, applying just enough pressure to stop the bleeding and tying the end securely. Once she was fully taken care of, he picked her up in his arms and carried her bridal style all the way to the bedroom.

It would be a lie to say he didn’t notice she was naked and pressed up against him, but it was hard to focus on that when he realized how broken she was. She was compliant, but almost like a doll instead of an actual person. This was certainly not how he imagined the first time she would be naked with him. 

As he laid her on the bed like she was glass, he found himself examining his reasons. Why did he care? Was it about getting information for the rebels, about revealing her biggest secret to the world? Or did he actually care about her? Was the impossible Queen actually someone he wanted to take care of and help?

She wouldn’t quite look at him as she curled up into a ball, her back to Tom. He couldn’t resist the urge to sit on the edge of the bed next to her, to reach out a hand and brush her hair from her face. She winced at his touch, like it scalded her. 

“I’m not going to hurt you darling”, Tom whispered, but withdrew his hand nonetheless. 

She shook her head a little, the only real movement she made since he found her. “I know”, was the small answer he got. 

Another punch of guilt hit him. She trusted him completely and he was the cause of her pain. It was all his fault and she sat there blaming herself. Maybe she was just as ashamed as he was, for different reasons of course. Maybe she was ashamed of her weakness, of being found in her brokenness when all she ever wanted was to be strong. 

Tom reached to touch her again, stroking her soft skin ever so carefully, showing her he wasn’t disgusted with her weakness, nor her scars. She flinched at first, but quickly warmed to his touch. A small sigh escaped her lips as he traced the contours of her back with his long fingers. All he wanted was to take her pain, to take the burden away from her and show her how beautiful she was to him, no matter her struggles. 

Her majesty turned towards Tom finally, letting him take in her face. Tears were still streaming, but there was a curiosity and wonder among the pain and self hatred. He was taken back by how beautiful she was, even with tear drenched eyes. He brushed the tears away with the same tenderness. 

Tom got an idea. He gently stroked down her neck, to her shoulder, down her arm to her wrist, before carefully pulling her arm to his lips, never breaking her gaze. He carefully kissed every scar with a tenderness he wasn’t sure he was capable of and watched as she nearly unraveled, her sobs bordering on hysterical. 

He moved to lay down besides her, just to hold her close to him. Her tears soaked through his shirt and he didn’t even care. He stroked her hair and pulled her as close as she needed and she held onto him with a fierce need. Nothing need to be said, but so many words of care and affection were spoken through action until his Queen slowly relaxed in his arms, falling into a restful sleep.

Oh, Tom could denounce every rebel in that moment. He probably would. Whoever said the beautiful woman was a murderer was a fool, for he held her in his arms like a lover would hold a grieving partner. No murderer could grieve like this. She was his Queen, if she’d have him of course. But he was determined to be the true friend she deserved. To be worthy of this trust. 


	7. Backstory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! so I decided to give a bit of back story in this chapter. You'll discover the world end both through the reader's and Tom's eyes and I hope you enjoy! Also, there will be a little bit of smut in this chapter as well. Sorry it has taken me so long!
> 
> As always, feedback is loved and appreciated!

Consciousness slowly seeped into your mind, making you increasingly aware of the situation you were found in. You were completely naked, rolled into the fetal position and the warm, hard body of Tom was wrapped around you. Your thighs were as sensitive as they normally were, but were bandaged with care. And you felt completely at peace. 

Usually not being alone was therapeutic to you, but the peace you felt was all encompassing. There was a huge part of you that warred inside of you in disgust of being discovered in your deep weakness, but you have long since learned to stop blaming yourself. It helped when you had someone with you, who knew and could keep you from spiraling that far. But there wasn’t much you could do about it on your own.

Your mind drifted back to what life used to be like. Sure, you’d struggled then, but it wasn’t nearly as bad. The guilt wasn’t consuming, the emotions only slightly less volatile. But that was the reality of miracle drug number 1. 

Years of recovery from young childhood trauma had left you self confident and whole in ways you’d never understood or experienced. And at the ripe age of 20, it was suddenly like life opened its arms for you to run into at full speed, no fear or self hate holding you back any longer. Living was beautiful when all you seemed to know was death and pain. You’d stopped cutting, hadn’t had suicidal thoughts in longer than you could remember, and it felt quite a lot like freedom.

But of course that wouldn’t last. You and your sister needed some extra cash, so you volunteered for some drug testing thing, which had a pretty steep payout for anyone willing to risk it. At the time, you’d both been trying to save up money for college. You smiled a little bit at the memory of your little sister, Tiff, looking at you with such excitement and pleading to get you to go with her. And how easily you complied. 

The doctors never told you what the drug was for; you were pretty sure you’d have left immediately if you knew everything it entailed. They just called it “The Grail” and were very mysterious about its purpose or what they were looking for the drug to fix, create, etc. But nonetheless, you allowed them to inject the mysterious bright green liquid into your veins, only to pass out for the next month.

When you woke up, you dimly remember everything feeling heightened. All sensations were vivid and exponential. The doctors documented the extreme range of emotions you began to experience from sobbing hysterically to screaming in laughter, never offering support or relief as your mind felt as though it had gone mad. 

The next set of tests were more like torture sessions than testing in your opinion. You’d be broken and beaten over and over again, yet by the next day, you’d be completely healed. Scars stayed for about a month before fading to nothing.You were immune to a majority of diseases and poisons without the slightest bit of discomfort. That wasn’t to say you couldn’t be killed, just that it was a little harder.

It had been almost 6 months by the time they released both you and your sister. The only side effect you would have to live with for the rest of your existence would be looking eternally exhausted and anaemic, with a slight hint of green in your fingers and feet. They informed you both that the drug would keep you immune to age, that you’d like as long as you’d like. 

It wasn’t until the next year you realized there was one more side effect. 

You got married to a lovely man named Terry and you were very much looking forward to a future with him, maybe even a family. But as you tried to have a kid over and over again, the realization slowly seeped in. 

You traded your ability to have children for the sake of immortality. 

It was completely devastating. All those plans… all those dreams… suddenly dissipated before your eyes. And as it became more and more clear that your childlessness was your fault, you slowly began to lose your husband as well. He fought for you over and over, determined to make it work even as it was slipping away. You hadn’t gotten control of your emotions as much as you would have preferred and you shut him out along with everyone else in an attempt to bottle up the pain you were experiencing. It was all your fault.

In the haze of your pain, you didn’t realize “The Grail” had been released to the public, starting with the social elite. Despite all the side effects, everyone wanted a piece of immortality. Billions were spent worldwide in a rush to never worry about dying again, though the complaints about their looks also became known. Within 5 years, all first world country citizens had taken The Grail as it was mass marketed and made available to even the lowest of the lower classes. 

Scientists were everywhere, saying they were making heaven on earth, that no one would ever have to worry about striving to stay alive, about sickness and disease, about the basic aspects of being alive. They created the dream world. And they even worked to develop a cure for the negative physical attributes. Politicians and celebrities were for the first to get it. Then a lot of the more vain of the general population paid a great deal of money for the slight twinge of blueness and dark circles to be gone.

6 months later, and suddenly everyone who took the cure dropped dead. 

The world sprung into utter chaos with all the world leaders, the people everyone looked to, were dead. The mad scramble for power turned out to be more deadly in the end. Nearly much every country was in civil war, fighting with no hopes of ever returning to peace. You managed to find Tiff in the chaos and together, you faced the threat of extinction. Somehow you came upon a group in Massachusetts that you could hunker down with while the world went to hell around you.

There were many horrors that happened during that time that you’d rather not remember in the comfort of Tom’s arms, but they flashed before your eyes anyways. Food wasn’t necessary anymore, making going into hiding much easier. Then rumors of a nuclear war beginning began to reach the ears of your little band. So your group fled on the nearest boat into the middle of the atlantic.

For months, your group traveled, fishing for fun, managing to become close and tight knit in the tight space. And somehow, you watched yourself rise to leadership with Tiff at your side. The serum had changed you, brought out your best and worst qualities and made them more extreme, but it did the same to her. She slowly went a little more maniacal over time. But you loved her the same. Just as she tempered your low spots, you tempered hers. 

The nuclear fallout could be seen for miles and miles, covering the skies as far as the eye could see. Fish and beasts from the bottom of the sea began to rise to the surface, death surrounding you from every corner. Fortunately, it appeared that not even radiation could kill you. So, after a great deal of time, longer than you’d been able to keep track of, you decided to make dock on land . The captain of the boat, a wise old man with a soft twinkle in his grey eyes, informed you that it was likely you were on the coast of somewhere in Europe. 

And thus began your journey to Queen. There were survivors, some with the drug in there system, some who managed to never take it. As your group travelled and set up camp in one of old castles Europe is known for, people began to flock to the safety your numbers held. There were still skirmishes and battles to be fought, but you began to represent hope that the world might be worth living in still. 

It had been your mistake to not change your looks after a century or so. Those who had never taken the drug or were born during that time were terrified of the immortal beings around them, leading them to revolt against their leaders. It had been a hard hit to the already dwindling people you’d come to know and love over many years. 

Fortunately, there were those who you’d gained the trust of, despite your immortality and after working on changing your appearance a bit, you once again took the throne. It wasn’t difficult to bring the people in under you again. They had only known fear of what the outside world had to offer. And who better to help guide them than someone who had seen everything, every bloodbath, every deformed body from radiation, the destruction of everything beautiful and precious in the world. 

By the time you reached 500 years old, most of your friends had chosen to pass on or take their own lives. Being alive that long was exhausting in of itself. Combine it with the horrors of daily life, the past that would not be reconciled with the present before their eyes, and it was a deadly mix. Besides Tiff, you had been sure you were completely alone.

But Tiff wasn’t herself anymore. She was violent and uncontrollable on her best day, a murdering sadist on the worst. You did everything you could to temper her episodes, to bring her the comfort she desperately needed, but she just began to take her fury out on you. But you would never give up on her. She was family. 

That didn’t mean she wouldn’t be taken from you one day. You could still remember her being violently carried away by rebel soldiers as you screamed and fought against the arms of the officers holding you back from becoming a martyr for your sister. 

That’s what finally broke you. 

You’d never been truly alone, completely cut off from anyone that would understand or care. You stood above your masses of people and contemplated taking your own life the way your previous friends had, but held back for the sake of your people. Doesn’t mean some of your particularly unhealthy habits hadn’t resurfaced in the pain of loneliness. 

The past few months had almost felt longer than the centuries you’d lived. But here you were in the arms of someone who understood, who been alive just as long and no doubt seen the same horrors. His mere presence was enough to break you free of the darkness that had come to consume your being. You felt alive once more.

With a small sigh, you allowed yourself to snuggle deeper against him and lose yourself to your dreams.

  
  
  


Tom woke with a start, the light coming through the window hitting his face with much more brightness than he would prefer in the morning. As much as he wanted to be a little grouchy at the interruption of his sleep, he suddenly found it very difficult as he took in the naked body of his Queen against him.

She looked so peaceful like this. The cares and the burden of the throne were shed and for a moment, she looked so young, so innocent and free. Maybe one day he’d be able to talk her into getting an artist to do a painting of her sleeping. 

He couldn’t stop himself as he ran his fingertips over the softness of her brow, down her nose, tracing the petals of her lips reverently. Her breath bathed his hand in warmth as she exhaled slowly, completely unaware of how she was affecting him. His fingertips continued to trace her skin, running up and down her collarbone and along her chest. Everything about her made him breathless. The curve of her breasts was so delicate; the pointing of her nipples calling to him with a plea to warm them from the chill. 

Maybe he should stop, he thought. It wasn’t like she gave him permission to touch her. But just as Tom was about to stop tracing every line and mark on her skin, he heard a small whisper from her.

“Don’t stop”. 

The plea surprised him, causing him to bring his eyes reluctantly back to her face. The peace was still there, but it was mixed in with trust and affection, her eyes staring back into his as open and vulnerable as he had ever seen a human be. So he set about earning that trust.

His fingers became more sure in their perusal of her being, searching for those sensitive places on her skin that would cause her to shiver against him. He grazed her erect nipples just barely and a small gasp escaped her lips. A small smile touched his lips at her sensitivity. 

Taking it to the next level, Tom leaned his neck forward just enough to plant a small kiss on her shoulder blade while his finger continued to tease her breast, skimming the underside and her sternum. His lips continued their trail up her shoulder and into the crook of her neck where he allowed his tongue to flick out and caress the sensitive skin there. A small moan met his ears as he became bolder. 

The moans didn’t stop as he pinched her nipples and suckled on her skin. She began to arch her body into his hand, causing her butt to press into his decidedly hard erection. It had been too long since he last allowed himself to indulge in pleasure, but it was consuming like fire in his veins. And they hadn’t even quite begun.

Tom ground himself into her backside, desperate for friction, while his finger travelled lower, dipping past her navel and into the soft curls at the apex of her thighs. As gently as possible, he brought her leg up to wrap around his hip and give him access to her womanhood. Looking up back at his beautiful Queen showed her eyes half lidded and burning with need. But nothing was hurried. This was exploration and learning in its perfection.

His fingers dipped to stroke her lips through the coarse hair. A damp heat emanated from her deliciously as he searched for her clit and explored every inch of the outside of her body. It was slow and torturous, but he wanted to memorize every detail. 

“Please, Thomas. I need you to touch me”, she whispered a little hoarsely. 

Without answering her, Tom gave her what she wanted. His fingers drew design after design on her clit and sent her whole body spasming against him, her moans a beautiful symphony he could listen to for the rest of his existence. He drew his other arm from under her and began playing with her breasts to add to the sensation, but never hurrying. 

Her breathing became more erratic, surging for each breath and gasping as her body neared the edge of oblivion, yet he played her body so expertly it crept on her and grew like a flower blossoming. When she came, her lips cried out his name and everything in him wished that it would only be his name on those lips forever. She was angelic in her release. 

Her high was soothed and comforted by his hands and his lips, letting her feel every sensation and draw it out for her pleasure. As soon as she could catch her breath, she managed to pull him on top of her with a little maneuvering, earning a small chuckle from Tom. It was a short lived chuckle as she pulled him close enough to kiss him. The same unhurried attitude spread into their kiss as they truly enjoyed each other for the first time. He discovered he loved how she tasted, how she moved in tandem with his mouth. He loved how her small hands ran over his body, pushing against clothing and barriers, yet never hurrying even in the slight tremble they held. 

She managed to work at the clasps and buttons of his clothing, specifically designed for his position but terribly inconvenient in this particular situation. Instead of letting impatience get control of the moment, he allowed her to work them off on her own and explore his body the way he just explored hers. 

Her hands managed to pull the outer jacket off his shoulders and his undershirt over his  head, breaking their kiss for mere moments before returning to the warmth of their connected mouths. Those hands began worshipping his body, every muscle reverently kneaded and massaged in their fervent exploration. He let out a groan as she ran her hands over the contours of his muscled chest, tweaking his nipples in the process. 

Those small, strong hands didn’t linger long, tracing the small hairs from his navel leading downwards to the edge of his pants. His belt was dispatched with ease and she didn’t hesitate to pull his pants down his hips and rested on the tops of his knees. Tom took care of the rest by kicking them off the rest of the way. 

His beautiful Queen released his lips for a moment to look over his body with a fire in her eyes that was sure to be found in his own.The small look of hunger at the view of his half hard cock was enough to make him smile to himself. It was always very healthy for his ego when a woman gave that kind of face over his package.

All thoughts escaped his mind as she wrapped her hand around his length, pumping him experimentally, allowing her fingers to graze the sensitive ridges and veins. She memorized him, taking in everything all the while pleasing him. His cock throbbed and ached for her; he needed to bury himself in her warmth. 

She gave him a small, knowing smile before wrapping her legs around his waist and placing his engorged head at her entrance. He could feel how wet she was against his head and he groaned his appreciation for her to here. Meeting her eyes, Tom leaned down and kiss her deeply as he pressed into her warmth.

Tom remembered learning about heaven from his very catholic parents at a young age. There were many perspectives on the subject and what it would be like. In this moment, he decided that if there was a heaven, it would be similar to sinking into the heat of this woman as her walls clenched around him like a homecoming embrace. He couldn’t stop the moan that erupted from him as he fully sheathed himself in her. It was perfection.

God, he felt like a bumbling virgin for goodness’ sake! Get your act together, Thomas.

He withdrew almost completely, only to surge back in with all the force he could muster. Her answering moans were more than enough to encourage him to continue. She cried out for him in soft whimpering noises. And he answered in his own grunts and moans as he set a comfortable pace, one that would result in them sharing their release. 

Tom gathered her in his arms, pulling her close to him as he made love to her with everything he had. He continued to kiss her softly, surging in and out of her while the rest of the world seemed to fade away. She brought her hips up to meet his with each thrust and they moved perfectly in synch. And all the while, it felt like time had stopped.

He should probably feel guilty. All the lies, the men who died because of his actions, the betrayal of her trust, all of these reasons would have been adequate to make him reconsider. But he couldn’t bring himself to it. Maybe he really was a selfish, horrible man dead set on destroying the lives of people too good for him. Or perhaps he wanted to be better. 

All he knew in that moment was that he wanted to be with this amazing woman. (Y/N)... If he could ever make up for what he did, he would spend his life doing so. Because she deserved that. 

His Queen began whimpering and moaning louder with each thrust and he knew she would meet him when he fell apart. Her walls clenched around him and milked him, her whole body tense under him. A wave of heat flowed through him as his balls tightened and every nerve exploded into pleasure. Yes, he would do better.

  
  


An hour later, you found yourself lying in bed, only sheet covering your naked body. Tom had just left to grab something for the two of you to eat. You had to admit that watching him put his clothes back on was a little disappointing, but you’d manage as long as he came back to you. 

How could someone love you like that, think you are desirable like he did after everything he saw last night? You weren’t sure how anyone would be capable of seeing past that kind of brokenness. Yet, he did and you were so thankful for that.

With a small sigh, you got out of bed and stretched. The bandages on your thighs were unnecessary now, despite the care and kindness Tom showed as he took care of you. Gingerly, you removed both bandages to find your cuts and already turned into little pink scars. By the end of the day, they’d be white.

The sound of footsteps paused your examination. The bedroom door opened where you saw a smiling Tom holding a large platter with a full breakfast, clearly meant for both of you because there was no way you’d be able to eat all of that alone. But he stopped in the door, his smile slipping from his features while his eyes looked over your body. 

“You do know you literally were just in here right?” You joked, a hand on your hip to accentuate your hips a bit more. “I didn’t think five minutes was all it took to make you forget my naked body”.

Tom seemed to snap out of it a little, his eyes coming to your face only to show the confusion hiding there. He walked into the room gingerly and placed the tray down on the floor before kneeling in front of you. His warm hands surveyed your thighs and the damage there with a seriousness that scared you a bit. After a second, he looked up at you questioningly.

“(Y/N)”, he whispered. “How old are you?”

Oh… It was time for that talk.


End file.
